The Walk of Shame

I read BNY's post mentioning the Union Square Green Market a week ago but I'd kind of forgotten, so it was a pleasant surprise to wander through it on my way to the Q. I got a little inspired by the flowers and the springy weather and took some phone photos. They came out pretty well considering I had no macro capability and was just snapping them off willy nilly. Here's the resulting eye candy for ya, courtesy of a couple minutes spent on iPhoto:





In college we used to call it the Walk of Shame, this homeward trek in yesterday's clothes, but I don't really feel ashamed. I feel pretty good, considering the mild hangover...and that I got sent home instead of going to breakfast. I don't really get what that was about, and I was a little irritated by it, but I'm not letting it get to me.

It's kind of weird that today I'm heading home from the Producer's apartment and yesterday at approximately 6:30 I was snuggled up next to Funny Dave at a table at Marshall Stack, drinking wine and playing a weird knee version of footsie. FD marveled at how hard Mrs. 2.0 made me laugh with her amazing true story about fecal exhibitionism in the famous Victoria Gardens, and he and the 2.0s' cool friend the Artist kept me giggling all evening over cookies, English muffin pizzas and sloppy Joes that were more sloppy than Joe. I haven't laughed that hard since I was a kid and Salty and our cousin Jeff pinned me down and tickled me till I stopped breathing. We had a great time out, and between the story and FD and the amazing bartender my sides were sore by the time we all walked to the F train together.

Nobody else wanted to stay out, so I met up in the Village with PDF and his Boyfriend, who were entertaining some nice folks that Boyfriend had been working with. After laughing at some horrific karaoke, we wound up at this awesome lesbian bar. At first we were turned away, but PDF worked some magic and in a moment we filed right in ahead of the crowd waiting outside. It was jam packed full of gorgeous women...and I mean PACKED. Like sardines. Someone shoved a drink in my hand and then I remember dancing with a blonde to George Michael's "Freedom." I chatted up a cutie from Boston but that's about the time my memory starts swimming. I wish I could remember what the bar was called...or even where I was. PDF kept plunking Cape Cods into my grabby hands, and after Boston Girl all I can remember is rainbows all over the ceiling and a little tiny straw in my mouth and dancing all squished up with all those girls.

The next thing I knew I was stumbling down a side street with PDF in tow, shrieking "[PRODUCER]!" at the top of my lungs. And nearly falling over laughing when I finally found the Producer and his poor sweet friend who both looked like deer in the headlights of my giggly drunkenness. There was some pizza involved and I think more drinking, but I really get a little fuzzy until I was put to bed.

This morning was actually a pretty nice walk. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and it was shaping up to be a pretty gorgeous day. I wandered into a store on 14th st and ogled some jewelry, but the stuff I wanted (Kuchi pendants and an "antique" Afghani torque) was kind of expensive, so I moved along. I called PDF while I walked. "so what did you think?" "He's great," he said. "Just be careful, honey." I know, I know.

I think the hardest thing about moving on from breaking off an engagement is how hyper protective people are of me. But it's nice to know they care, and I'm glad they're reminding me to be cautious and above all to concern myself with getting what I deserve. ...And believe me, even though I'm doing the whole live in the moment thing, cautious is my middle name right now.

-----

Speaking of BNY, this is kind of funny, since I just moved here four months ago, and technically from Ohio.

Sometimes it's positive to be negative!

Somewhere over the last few years, I...have become...an adult.

Whoa. That's pretty weird. But it's true! And not only am I an adult, but a responsible one, capable of managing my life...you know....responsibly and adultish. Since I've been getting more and more comfortable with the idea of being a cute, single, 27 year old woman I decided it's time to be responsible about that single part. Because...well... Happy as I am being autonomous and single and doing my own thing, I don't plan on being alone every day.

In the spirit of adult responsibility I decided that it's about time I got tested for "the hiv." Sure, I've been tested a few times over the last however many years, but that shit can lay dormant, homes. And I ain't playin' around with my sexual health. As uncomfortable as it might be, it's important that all of us single folk take care of these things, for ourselves and hopefully for others. So I set off for one of New York City's free STD clinics to investigate one of the social welfare programs that is paid for by the taxpayers of New York City, including me.

Expecting a huge crowd, I arrived at 8:00, half an hour before the clinic opened. I wound up 6th in line, and after a quick triage I was assigned the very creative (but nonetheless confidential) nickname of "6." At least that way you don't feel like they're screaming your name across the waiting room. In fact you don't even have to give your name, although they do ask for it and ask you to sign some papers (am I registered now? Is this like getting your dog a rabies vaccine?).

I was sent upstairs to wait in a room full (already) of mixed characters... There were a few thug-style dudes trying to not make eye contact with anyone, a young couple that looked at everything but each other, and two men who looked like they are in their fifties. My immediate speculation on those last two was hookers, but who am I to pass judgement?

We all sat staring at a tv that played 80's instructional-video music and interchanged short videos with demonstrations of safe sex practices. And--no kidding--between each segment they played Salt-n-Pepa's "Let's Talk About Sex." It was killer! The videos were kind of awesome; with lessons about safe sex and getting tested in an upbeat, matter-of-fact style that smacked of Degrassi Junior High. The demonstrations were by far more amusing though... Imagine walking into a room full of uncomfortable people that are trying to just stare at a TV and not look embarrassed to be there, then when you take a look at what they're watching you see a giant white dildo on the screen with the following print: "Did you know a condom can hold 2 gallons of water? A standard size condom can even fit on an elephant's penis!"

The older guys looked like they were in hell.

After an hour or so, an administrative looking guy with a Caribbean accent and a fashion-forward pink shirt/vest combo announced that the clinic was short on doctors. Well duh... I've been a public servant, I know how this works. I then found out that they don't necessarily call people in order. "No sweat," I thought to myself. "I'm number 6. How long can it take?"

The clock struck 10 and then a nice lady named Kay called me back and asked me a few questions about drug use and sexual history. She then deposited me in the phlebotomist's chair, where I promptly squinted my eyes shut and stuck my arm straight out, fist in a ball. The phlebotomist was nice too, and chatted with me about my job (for the record, I fibbed oh-so-slightly on this one and said I was an out of work PA). She did a great job distracting me from the needle, looking me straight in the eye the whole time and smiling and asking questions. Then she told me it would be forty minutes to find out. Well...okay. Disappointing, but predictable.

Back in the waiting room the bucket seats were starting to fill up, and forty minutes no longer sounded so bad, especially compared to what the poor junkie-looking lady in the back corner was going to have to sit through. I feel like it's relevant to say that she was the only junkie-looking type there, and I'm not even sure that she was a junkie; she could just have been really skinny and tired.

I positioned myself on one side of the room, in a chair that faced all the other chairs, for the simple reason that the vantage point allowed me to see all the comings and goings and nervous glances of the other folks. While people watching was definitely up there on my list of things to do, I did have forty minutes to kill. I whipped out this week's Time Out New York and started perusing the Around Town section to try and find something cool to do this weekend. Something fun, slightly-touristy-but-not-totally-touristy... Or at least something other than drinks and dinner. That's fun but it gets old, especially when New York is your oyster! I checked the TV. Did you know HIV can be spread to a baby during breastfeeding? Actually, I didn't know that before, so there's no way to say the day was a total waste of time.

The truly crowning moment of the experience came when I noticed a guy across the room chatting up the girl sitting next to him. At first I thought nothing of it, but then I realized they didn't know each other and it dawned on me that Dude was trying to score digits from a girl he met at the STD clinic. Ew! That is so....backwards!

With all the entertainment, plus bonus funny texting with a friend, I really didn't mind the long wait too much...I guess you could say I made lemonade out of a smelly waiting room full of awkward situations. Finally, Kay called me back in her office and told me to have a seat. "You tested negative for HIV," she said with a smile. "Woohoo!" I replied.

Not that it's a big surprise, but it's nice to know for sure.

Fresh as a daisy and smelly as a goat

Ahhh.... Runnnnnnnnning....

Sometimes I grumble about living in Prospect Lefferts Gardens. The PLG isn't exactly the bastion of sassy hipster cool that people think of when I say "I live in Brooklyn." It's super residential and I know there's some stuff on the other side of the 'hood, but in my regularly patrolled area (between the park and my apt bldg on Lincoln and the few surrounding blocks on Flatbush Ave) there is one hip little coffee shop, one (delicious) cute tex-mex restaurant, and Lime, a nightclub to which I have never been.

But I gotta say... Weekend mornings are a joy out here. Waking up, puttin' the old lime green shorts on, it is a joy knowing I pay $895 a month and live a block away from one of the best parks in New York.

Prospect also happens to be the perfect park for my purposes (!) being that it has a nice paved running track that is 3+ miles, some unpaved running trail areas, in addition to all the standard park goodies, like playgrounds and picnic areas. I especially like Auntie Hunting, which involves me running around through all the dogs between 8 and 9 in the morning, hoping to spot Aunt J or her partner Auntie R and their sweet little whippet.

Before my watch stopped, I was focusing more on the numbers of running - Check watch, look for mile markers, check watch, check watch again, okay I'll turn around in six minutes, check watch... Not any more! Now that I'm watchless (and running with abandon), I'm really taking it all in. I love maneuvering through swarms of excited dogs waving their tongues around as they chase each other at the Dog Beach, leaping onto the banks of the bridle trail to evade equestrians, and weaving in between tents at the cute little farmer's market in Grand Army Plaza. I don't know that I'm getting a great workout in or anything, but I'm definitely having more fun than I was on the clock!

I was thinking today, while bounding up the hill from the Long Meadow somewhere near the Litchfield Villa, that my weekend runs are a really great way to tap into life in the BK. I'm starting to see the same faces (and the same dogs--the dogs are wonderfully pervasive), and it's giving me a marvelous sense of connection and positivity. It really makes that mopey lonely crappy feeling vanish. I can't wait until it gets warmer... Aunt J and Auntie R told me that there's lots to do in the park in the summer.

Speaking of, Daylight Savings tonight has me in a GREAT mood! I don't give a lick about it being light in the morning; I'm just excited to be able to walk home in the afternoon sunshine! Maybe I can even start taking the train to Grand Army and walking through the park! Wooooo!

Now that I'm all smelly and sweaty (dare I say, salty too) I'm gonna hop in the shower and then off to...well, I don't know. It's all rainy out, so I won't go back to the park... But who cares? I'll find something to do--I'm in New York!

Because I whine too much: A List for the Lonely

Awesome, amazing, incredible ways to find people that you just might like:

1. The Lunch Club
Jared did a good thing for all of us budding New Yorkers when he started the Lunch Club. Basically you sign up for an event through the website and show up on the day of. Other people interested in the event also show up, and the fun begins. I did a scavenger hunt in gorgeous Grand Central Station and a really fun improv comedy workshop. Both events were tons of fun, but neither one produced any serious friendship prospects. At the scavenger hunt, however, five girls formed a team as well as obvious bonds, so there's hope. I'm signed up for The Amazing Race, Lunch Club Style in April, maybe I'll see some of my teammates from GCS!

2. Enjoy New York
Do not sit in your apartment for two weeks and watch the fist three seasons of Lost back to back. Trust me, you'll feel like a total hermit after you emerge, frustrated and vowing never to watch another episode if you find out they really did kill off Charlie....not that I'd know, or anything. Since the launch of season 4, I started taking long walks in different neighborhoods. Since I occasionally (usually) get lost and wind up on a deserted block, I've gotten organized and purchased (with a store credit!) City Walks: New York, a set of 50 cards, each of which includes a detailed map and fun facts about the sights that you'll see. I just purchased two days ago, but I'll let you know how it goes after I take a couple of the self-guided tours. Maybe tomorrow will be the day!

3. Find Stuff to Do
With so much going on all the time, it can be a little overwhelming trying to choose a fun activity, or even to keep up with what's happening around town. Two great resources for this are www.eventme.com and Time Out New York. Event Me is kind of like a dating service without the dating part. Register on the website, fill out a comprehensive questionnaire about your personality and the kinds of things you like to do, and voila! The website will automatically generate a list of events around town that will pique your interest. There is also a function to search for all events, just in case you have to entertain guests with different taste. I have it set up to email the events to me every week, which annoys me just enough to remind me to keep going to events. Time Out New York, online and on newsstands citywide, offers a massive list of events sorted first by category (Around Town, Arts, Music, etc., etc., etc.), then by date. The online database is searchable, but I prefer to peruse the print version, which also handily provides compact subway reading material. My favorite part is the little red "Free!" next to events that are...you guessed it, free.

4. Take a Meeting
Seriously, check out the Newbie NYC post about Socializing in the City:

"be sure to get in touch with every person you know that lives in New York City
and catch up over lunch or dinner, even if you haven't seen them for 15 years.
Fact is, they are established, know inside info about the city, and will act as
a great resource. And don't be shy-they will usually want to hear from you."

You won't regret it. I don't. PDF, trying though he may be, used to be one of my best friends before we fell out of touch. Despite my embarassment over a few life mistakes in college, I got in touch with him when I arrived in November. Turns out, we're still great friends, and he even bailed me out of unemployment and let me take a bunch of hours at his tanning salon last week. I also had a fabulous brunch with Cousin-of-my-cousin Molly and her friend Jenn (who went to elementary school with me!). Molly and I never really gelled as kids, but it turns out that as grown ups we both love diner food, running (sort of), the entertainment business, and helping Jenn buy new plumbing accessories. She even graciously offered to submit a resume to a former employer of hers for me. Newbie NYC also reminds you to book appointments far in advance, which is so true; I tried to book that brunch with one week's notice but it was a no-go and we had to push it back to two weeks. It was worth the wait!

5. Get Out There
Seriously. I cannot stress enough how important it is to get over doing things alone and just do them. With the exception of My Salty Weekend, everything fun that I have done in New York has been alone. Sans amis. Solo mio. PDF works too much, Betsy just wants to hang out at home with her fiance, Aunt J and Cousin Jeannie are always super busy, and all of them have to get home to their dogs all the time. That's fine for them, but I'm in hot pursuit of a social life, dammit! So, all alone, I have taken bellydance lessons, gone on a scavenger hunt, learned about improv, seen a concert, gone running in prospect park, enjoyed a street fair at Christmastime, seen a parade, and spent countless hours walking streets and window shopping.

6. Take a Class
So far, my most socially promising activity has been the bellydance lessons, if only by virtue of seeing the same gals week after week. Find those kinds of recurring events and the friends will follow. Dance classes, ceramics classes, acting classes, improv classes, scuba diving classes, and of course, American Tribal Style bellydance classes! Now that I think about it, maybe I'll find a recreational moviemaking class or club to join. Maybe I can meet some other AD wannabes!

7. Join a Club
Seriously? I think Meetup.com is kind of lame. I've been to four meetups over the last few years and every one of them was awkward and kind of...well...lame. Still, clubs, like classes, produce results. You can join sailing clubs, biker clubs, science clubs, professional organizations, alumni associations, and even the New York Rangers Fan Club. For me this is as yet an untapped market, although the New York Coalition of Professional Women in the Arts & Media looks pretty interesting...

I found a ninja in a tutu! That's kind of appropriate...

My friend AJ is an actress and a singer and a ballerina and a helicopter pilot and a soldier. I think that's really really cool.

She came to visit me yesterday - she's my first houseguest! It was interesting having a houseguest in a one room house; that's for sure. We went to SoHo last night for dinner and strolling. The strolling was quickly canceled when it began sleeting, the way it does here. I have come to learn that in New York it doesn't really snow; it's just cold and soggy with no pretty sparkly quiet payoff. It's gross because you know it's because of the smog. To escape the grossness, we ducked into the first place we saw that offered coffee. It was GREAT coffee, by the way; and AJ highly recommends the black forest cake.

Having A around really made me feel better about my whole situation (yes, L, talking to you did too). I think that my loneliness has been getting to me...it's amazing how your mind can inflate things to such an overwhelming level. Usually I talk things out with someone, but lately I haven't had anyone to talk things out with, so I start talking them out in my head...and THAT is what causes my silly anxiety. So I've decided to turn a new leaf and quit being so down on myself.

PS. - Mad props to http://darkmotiondotcom.deviantart.com/ for thinking of putting a ninja in a tutu. I have to say, this website has some seriously cool and bizarre stuff on it...go check it out!