The Cheshire Cat

We waited forever for wrap tonight (which is film talk for time-to-finish-up-and-go-home). It turned out to be a fifteen hour day, and wrap finally came at about 11:00. Clearly, if you read my last post, I've been spending this time thinking about my future and how I just don't know where to go next. I have so many options open to me that I'm a little overwhelmed, and I'm having a tough time making a decision. Right when I finished up that post, a disembodied voice popped into my head:


"There are other, cooler things out there, you know." The statement was ethereal, but very clear.

"Like what?" I say. I am Alice to the disembodied voice.

"Like...video games... and animation... It's like a whole wide world of creating stuff out of thin air."

"Oh!" I cry, "but I can't do that. I've never done anything involving that stuff."

"So what?" Asks the voice. "You're too dismissive. Think about how cool it would be. Think about how much you love all that stuff anyway. Think about how much there is to learn and the endless possibilities. You don't have to deal with the constraints of reality."

"But I know nothing about it.... I don't even know where to begin!"

"You know someone who knows about it.... So just ask."

"Oh no," I say silently. "No no no no no. I just started hanging out with him again. And I like him. He's cool. We're friends now. I don't want to scare him away with a whole bunch of curiosity about his job and how I can get a job like that. And there's too much other weird stuff going on there to try and get him to help me advance my career."

"Isn't that why you agreed to meet him in the first place?"

"Well...yeah...but then he turned out so different from how I expected."

"So what? Use anyone you can to get what you want. He's using you."

"That's different."

"How?"

"Umm... I don't know, it just is. Besides, I don't want to do that kind of work anyway, so I don't even know why we're having this conversation."

"Is that why you kept asking him about his work the last time you saw him?"

"Well it's interesting...and what else am I going to talk about with him? I don't want to know about the women."

"Yes you do."

"Okay, so I'm dying to know. But it's none of my damn business....and neither is the work thing! Now please go away!"