Finding the Pearl

I like oysters, when they're done right. I like them best the way my friend Shaggy used to make them back in New Orleans; char-broiled on the grill and soaked in garlic. The texture of the oyster, when cooked properly, is not rubbery or slimy, it's meaty and solid. Eating it makes you feel good and full.

Then there are raw oysters... Ew. They're slippery and taste of saltwater and plankton (or what I imagine is the taste of plankton). They feel like snot going down. The thought makes me want to retch a little. Ew.

Working in film is like a char-broiled oyster. Delicious! Choosing a career track? Raw and planktony. Ew.

I don't really know where to go next. I'm an office PA. Woo. Now what? Production Secretary? Blah. Coordinator? Mmmm...mmmayyyybeee....but I can't see myself being that good at it.

Accountant? Hmmm... I never in a million years thought I'd say accounting sounds interesting, but if you spend enough time drinking with my friend Payroll it becomes interesting. Accounting is a great way to learn the ins and outs of the business if you want to produce. According to Payroll, it's like seeing the film you're making through the Matrix. All that scrolls by your face is numbers, but within those numbers you can see all sorts of things.... She says she can tell who's doing a good job and who isn't. She says she knows all about the tiny problems that spiral into bigger problems. I have to admit that she makes it sound pretty cool. Still....Accounting?

I have to admit that being a producer sounds great. Sounds....great... But, like, everyone wants to be a producer someday. And god knows that if everyone else is doing it then it bores me to tears. And "I want to be a producer" is such a generic thing to say.

But I kind of want to.

I kind of want to learn more about the UPM and what she does. Moving up to coordinator someday would be a great way to get closer to that.

But wait! What about being an AD!? What about following in Aunt J's footsteps or whatever? I'm so curious about that! How would I do? Could I do it? Do I have the patience to survive years of lock-ups and walkies and extras to get there? And once there, can I live my entire life for months at a time on set? Can I walk the fine line between 'boss' and 'bossy'? Do I really want to be buried in paperwork for someone else's big vision and let that other person get all the glory? Because that's a lot of what being an AD is. Do I want to do that? And if not, do I really want to spend my time pursuing it?

I mean, I'm not getting any younger here...not that twenty-seven (and a half) is old, but I feel like I should at least be ready to move up from the bottom rung.

The world of making movies is my oyster. Unless I want to swallow that shit raw, I need to make a decision or two.