Suddenly everyone noticed that Jill Biden is kind of hot.
George H.W. Bush dons a big fuzzy trapper hat. Rumors begin that his hat and Aretha Franklin's hat are going to spar after the ceremony. See action-packed video of hats here.
Michele Obama shows up in an ugly gold muumuu...and nearly everyone seems to approve.
Aretha Franklin mutters at some asshole to shut up.
Little Obamas do not fidget or misbehave during retardedly long ceremony, thus proving they are actually animatronic "Crewcuts by J. Crew" mannequins.
Barack gives a shout out to atheists!
Dr. Joseph E. Lowry brings back catchy anti-racist slogans! "....Help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right."
Obama causes a security ruckus by totally failing to stay in the car. Hundreds of secret service agents simultaneously develop a nervous tick. Check out the picture...Obamas are happy. Other guys? Not happy.
The "Neighborhood Ball" brings inaugural balls into the homes of people all over America and beyond. Sure, it might cheapen the whole experience of actually GOING to the ball a little, but at least this way sedentary and apathetic Americans everywhere can feel included.
Joe and Jill Biden show up in a tux and a gorgeous red gown on a stage that vaguely resembles American Idol. Joe takes his wife's hand...and then totally fails to deliver on the dance floor. At least he warned us first.
Stevie Wonder is led off stage by his "seeing-eye Sting" after a jaunty yet still touching duet. Thanks to the Heartwarmer for making me laugh so hard my belly hurt when she coined the phrase, "seeing-eye Sting."
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