Un Rendez-Vous à Propos

At the cafe where we met I wasn't exactly sure Columbia liked me. I'm still not wholly convinced, but I feel like that somehow makes it better. He's quiet, quieter than me even, which makes for conversations that are full of my inane prattle and punctuated by awkward silences. His thoughtful face is minimally expressive, which causes a little chill of terrible curiosity to run up and down my neck when I catch him looking at me. Every so often though I'd catch him with a look of such affection on his face that I know he enjoyed playing at being in love just as much as I did.

Though I think we're well-matched in intelligence, I find his advanced education intimidating; he's a PhD student at (guess!) Columbia University. I'm impressed that he can be so dedicated to studying just for its own sake. His passion is focused on just this one thing, where mine is divided up willy-nilly between my work, my dance, my running, my writing, my social life...

I may never see him again, and I know it. I'll be sad if I don't, but it was such a nice week that I can't possibly mind. After all, it certainly got my mind off Him, and he reminded me about something Aunt J said to me at New Year's Day brunch. She told me that it's easy to get wrapped up in your future, but the best way to be a successful PA is to work hard at the tasks assigned to you rather than to work hard at becoming an AD. Instead of worrying about the end goal it's far better to focus on where I am.

So again it comes up: focus on today. Enjoy the things I have right now. Stop worrying so much about the things I don't; they'll come in time. Columbia reminded me that it's the journey that teaches you, not the destination.

And he? He begins his semester on Tuesday. He anticipated preparing steadily for the next couple days and throwing himself into his studies for the duration. I'm quite sure that meant he probably doesn't have much, if any, time for a little out-of-work filmmaker begging him to alleviate her unemployment blues.

And I have my second half marathon coming up a week from today. And I'm booked to work on Aunt J's show on Tuesday and Wednesday. And I've no money, as in my bank account is at zero and I have no cash or checks to deposit. So there is plenty to keep me occupied this week, plenty of journey.