"I found my own voice."

Tears welled up in my eyes last night while I watched Hillary Clinton hug her daughter. I thought how proud Chelsea must be--how much prouder than she ever could have been of her father, especially since she's grown and educated enough to understand the gender dynamic in this country.

Lately, I've been following Obama pretty heavily, but last night I realized that, in Mrs. Clinton, we as a nation have the opportunity to change more than just politics. Yes, yes, I know Barack Obama is Black (sort of--unfortunately I think many people believe the 1/8th rule still applies, but that's an issue I'll address another time). That is also important. But I really, truly believe that a Clinton win would be more substantial in affecting the reality of American social consciousness.

I think people assume that women are okay, that there is no longer any need to fight that good fight, because it's been won...women on the Supreme Court (currently 1 of 9), women in the Senate (currently 16 of 50, an all time high) , women working all over the place. I know we've come a long way. I know it. My sister is the breadwinner of her family and so is my mother. My grandmothers both worked full-time jobs. I can be anything I want to be, right? Anything? Right?

Sure I can; within reason. Like I probably could be a high-powered stockbroker, Master (mistress?) of the Universe; but I would definitely have to fight for that harder than any man would and put up with harassment. And I wouldn't find much sympathy from colleagues or anyone else about that harassment, because for some reason, it's still socially acceptable to talk to women like they're children and can't function properly in the business world. And I might have to either have to hide my "intimidating" career or forget about marrying because, like it or not, men have a problem accepting a woman who is more successful than they are without mentally stripping away her femininity. Oh, and the company that I'm temping for right now? They don't even allow anyone to take maternity leave. You have to use government disability money.

And then there's that feeling that I don't have a name for--the pressure to get married, the expectation that someone should always take care of me, the tacit inferiority in the business world (I am SO sick of temping). It's the feeling I get when I tell someone I don't want children and then I hear "Oh, that will change, you'll see."

Hillary Clinton means something to me--some important thing I'm not totally sure of. If she wins, it'll be like my Mom won. It'll be like.... like proof that we can do it, and they can shove it for thinking we can't. Like proof that we don't always have to define ourselves by the men in our lives, and that we're finally making some headway toward that end.

She said she listened to the voters of New Hampshire and found her own voice. I love that. I want to find my voice someday. I want to feel like I really know who I am and what I want and how I'm going to get it. I guess if she wins this nomination it will feel like the path has been cleared a little more for me.