Just where do I think I'm going, young lady?

I have a demanding job that offers little stability. I somehow balance working 65+ hours a week with being a dancer. I also I have a social life, even if it is mostly populated with people I work and dance with.

So why do I feel like my life isn't full enough? Why do I feel like Miss Adventurous is drifting through a lazy lagoon instead of sailing the high seas? Can it be that I'm...bored?

I'm eager to get my claws into something new. A new job will certainly be welcome. Maybe I just need to do something fun. I have plans all weekend; I have a (my) dance show Friday, the Mermaid Parade Saturday and the Brooklyn Bridge on Sunday. Maybe I'll feel better after that?

I feel out of touch with the world. I feel kind of unalive. I think I need a jolt of crazy to shake me out of it. Thinky got me all excited to go out dancing and wild nights on the town and tasting the New York fabulousness, but it keeps not happening. Why? Why does New York eat time? Why are we all always so busy? Why can't I date awesome people instead of losers? Why is it that the one awesome person I've dated is still a loser? QUIT BEING A LOSER AND BE MY FRIEND, PLEASE!

Someone pinch me, I'm having a nightmare. I can't have done all this work for nothing; why do I still feel bland and unsatisfied? What can I do to fast track my success? I'm growing too slow! I can't take the waiting! I feel so behind! I want to make up for all the time I wasted on the lies and empty promises of some naiive jerk in a backwards Southern city that sucks all the ambition out of people!

There's so much pressure that I sometimes feel my body buckling under the weight of it. I want to get out of the financial baby pool and into the deep end. I want to start making the kind of money I need to live my dream the way I dreamed it. The way the sellouts like PDF live.

I know this sulking and futility are contrary to the style of my Adventures, which are all about possibility and courage. I know I am being desperate and fatalistic and blame-y. I know I'm acting like an entitled little brat, my own pet peeve. This, though, these feelings, are fuel for my fire. This is what motivates me to work hard and challenge myself. This is why I'm a daredevil and a thrill-seeker and a goal setter. If I settle for anything less then I'll wind up being a complainer instead.

The way to head off my dissatisfaction at the pass is to find the next goal and then get to work. I am drifting because I don't have a particular destination in mind. It's time to set my sights on a thing. Something difficult but within reach. Something specific and definable. Something I can control. An apartment? A job? I need a quest!