love letter instructions draft

This is copied per my therapist.
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THE LOVE LETTER TECHNIQUE
The Love letter technique is the ultimate way to share and express the complete truth for resolving emotional conflict both within yourself and in you relationships. A tool for exploring your feelings and learning to really tell the truth

Purpose:
To express and release all the negative feelings preventing you from experiencing and sharing the love you feel deep inside. To resolve whatever is in the way of the love flowing. You write the letter for yourself to get back to your own love, not to change the other!

You can write to anyone; your partner , your parents, your children your boss, your friends, your body, yourself............

How to Write a Love Letter
Basic levels of Emotion:
1. Anger, Blame, Resentment
2. Hurt, Sadness, and Disappointment
3. Fear, And Insecurity
4. Guilt, Regret, and 'I'm Sorry'
5. Love , Forgiveness, Understanding, and Intention
Basic rules
1. Be alone and undisturbed
2. Have someone read it out loud back to you, so you can feel all the emotions expressed and so can they-
a. Your partner
b. Another friend
c. Read it yourself
It opens the way for them to feel their emotions also (another person is not always necessary-you shift by writing it, but do read it to yourself)
3. Don't edit
4. Don't defend your position
5. Don't explain
6. Be specific
7. Don't be rational-have a tantrum-allow the small child to emerge
8. Anger:-don't be nice
9. Hurt and Sadness: they are always beneath the anger, when you have released enough anger you will begin to feel the hurt
10. Guilt and I'm sorry: take responsibility-you don't have to be wrong to be sorry about what happened.
11. Repeat all levels if you begin to be angry while writing about fear, go back to anger until you feel finished and write at least one line of Hurt and guilt before continuing with fear…etc.


Rules for reading Love letters
1. Never stop reading until you reach the end .Otherwise you will be stuck with the negativity
2. Do not make any comments, while reading. Just read the other persons feelings and feel your own.
3. If partner refuses to read the letter, do not communicate with them until they read it, because you will either surely fight or suppress your feelings. Give them time. If they still refuse reconsider the value of a relationship in which one partner refuses to cooperate and participate in healing conflicts.
4. Do not give letter to another unless you have explained the purpose and the process, and they have agreed and understood
5. After writing the letter you can sometimes communicate more clearly with the person in a regular conversation or phone , after you have worked through the emotional charge in the complete letter. You can use a short version of the technique . One sentence for each level .
What to do with letters
1. Mail them in a way that feels appropriate
2. Save them and reread them to see patterns in your conflicts, and use them as a map to explore your feelings-every conflict is an opportunity to draw on deeper levels of loving potential
In Emergency
Write a mini love letter. One line for each emotion level. You will be in better touch with all your feelings and find your way back to loving feelings at the moment. You can write a longer version later to really resolve the issue